Home > Humor, Southern Seminary > Rock and Roll Baptist Theological Seminary

Rock and Roll Baptist Theological Seminary

*Cheering, screaming crowds chanting “Jedi! Jedi! Jedi! Jedi!*Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, Baptists of all ages, we at Alumni Memorial Chapel are proud to present, for the first time ever in concert, The Deaf Jedi and the Calminian Sithlords!

*Crowd now works itself into a frenzy*

Deaf Jedi: Hey hey hey, time for us to play! Good to see y’all tonight! We’ll open the show with our #1 hit from our debut album The Funny Book, “I Wanna Be Al Mohler!”

*Crowd erupts into a deafening roar. Thankfully the Deaf Jedi is already deaf.*

Lead guitarist erupts into a spectacular riff on a custom Gibson Les Paul classic. The crowd quiets down and begins to clap along with the drumbeat. The Deaf Jedi walks up to the microphone, strikes a rock star pose, and belts out:

“I wanna be Al Mohler, baby
With the jocks left back and the chessboard shinin’
Al Mohler, baby
Riverfront chillin’ with sweet tea o’ mine
I wanna be Al Mohler, baby
Writin’ at night cause I sleep all day
Al Mohler, baby
I can smell a pomo from a theology away”

*Crowd explodes into a moshing frenzy*

Okay, that was great. Even the lame Fat Albert line was cheesy enough to make me laugh. I might actually write that song later!

What’s the occasion of this post? Ex Quo has introduced me to yet another interesting tidbit: Southern Seminary is guilty of Rock and Roll Christianity! Click on the two links to see the hubbub. “Ex Quo” links to his post, “Rock and Roll Christianity” links to the article in question.

This is one of the better humor articles I’ve read lately. And the funny thing is, it is a serious article written by an independent fundamental Baptist minister. It is high-larious. There are lots of errors, inconsistencies, and out and out misrepresentations all throughout this article. Not to mention a lot of things taken entirely out of context.

Basically, it’s like this. My college was what I’d describe as a moderate Baptist institution, and they felt and taught (or at least told or implied to) their students that places like Southern were places where we were not taught to think, or not allowed to think. This guy’s article is claiming that students at Southern are, essentially, taught to think too much!

I feel like I’ve finally come full circle. I’ve gone from being “too open minded” to being “too closed minded” back to being “too open minded.” And all this time I thought I was supposed to be “Scripture minded” or “Jesus minded.” Yes, indeed, I’ve come full circle.

Categories: Humor, Southern Seminary
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