Home > Humor > The Dangers of Reformed Thinking

The Dangers of Reformed Thinking

I had heard a few months ago that someone in the SBTS blogosphere was planning to write about the “dangers” of Reformed thinking. Well, “a few months” have passed, and no such blog has been forthcoming on the SBTS metablog. So, I have decided to list a few of the dangers that accompany Reformed thinking.

  1. You will read what the Bible actually says.
  2. You will give up what you want the Bible to say.
  3. You will be driven to study meticulously.
  4. You will develop a hunger for the weighty words of dead theologians.
  5. You will become a better theologian and Bible scholar.
  6. You will disdain “rededications,” preferring instead perseverance through discipleship.
  7. You will despise “altar calls.”
  8. You will believe giving a Gospel invitation is mandatory.
  9. You will think the purpose of preaching is to present the Gospel.
  10. You will hold that “it’s all about God,” not “it’s all about us.”
  11. You will become more and more bewildered at the appallingly unenlightened state of the church.
  12. You will desire that people disagree with what you actually believe, not with their made-up bogey men.
  13. The less fortunate will become theology hooligans.
  14. You will chuckle amusedly at Emergent/Arminian/heretical/(insert adjective or group here) theology (especially after reading Purgatorio’s treatment of the EC).
  15. And worst of all:

  16. You will start telling really bad jokes using each point of the TULIP.

It was predestined and irresistible, so sue me.

Categories: Humor
  1. Marty
    November 12, 2008 at 2:41 pm

    I just read your “Dangers of Reformed thinking”.

    Interesting. Can you help me out?

    I believe that each person …
    – is religious (living a life is a response)
    – has a religion (believe in yourself or an object or an activity, etc )
    – has a god (it could be self or a characture, or unseen deity, or a career or a charming object, etc)

    Can you help me out?….In 12 words or less what is your religion?


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