While playing around with WordPress this week, I found in my “blog stats” tool an application that lets you see how people got to your blog through Google searches. Now I can see if I’m just as weird as Timmy.
Apparently, but not as disturbing as some of his. Let’s examine my favorite ones.
Baptist Spanking. I don’t know if I want to know.
Christian group silly games. Hmm, is that all retreats are good for?
Ferret Legging. Ach ah, someone got my Weird-O-Cron™ post on this! Much thanks to the Archer of the Forest, who is currently in Ireland awaiting his semester in England.
Sith Squirrels. I really, really hope the albino squirrels at the University of Louisville didn’t get wind of that one. I’d hate to get all Obi-Wan on ’em. Never mind the nightmares the eyes of those things would bring.
Roommate Spanking. I really, really, really don’t wanna know.
Veggie Tale Punching Bag. Now that sounds like fun.
How does the milk bottle work? Um, what?
And now for two of my favorites:
How does a woman act when she loves a man? I’m afraid to ask why this is even a question.
How to impress wife before marriage. I’ll answer this one easily.
If you have to impress the woman you want to marry before you get married, perhaps you should question whether or not you need to be getting married in the first place.
If you mean a surprise before the wedding, by all means, go for it.
Otherwise, just be a godly man. Make your relationship after the model in Ephesians 5. You can’t get more impressive than that. If she still doesn’t want you or isn’t impressed with you after that, she doesn’t deserve your spit. You are a blessing way beyond anything she deserves.
And on that note, I’d like to direct my visitors looking for a wedding liturgy to the sidebar, in the Marriage category. There you will find the complete liturgy, with commentary. You may contact me via e-mail (see the About page for the address) for the liturgy without commentary, in wedding ceremony format.
In further weirdness, I’ve gotten several visitors looking for Timmy. *At Timmy* I didn’t tell ’em nothin’!